Maya's Room

As our journey to Maya gets closer I've noticed an increase in what I like to call "room gazing." I've caught myself and John doing it several times a day. This is when we go into Maya's future room and stand there envisioning what it will be like when it is occupied by our daughter. Sometimes the room gazing lasts for several minutes and other times it comes in short but frequent bursts.

Currently the room is overflowing with miscellaneous items....books, clothes, decorations, stuffed animals, and more than enough paint chips of undecided colors. Should it be blue, green, or yellow? Each day I seem to change my mind. I've even ordered two different bedding sets, opposite polars of eachother. I look at them daily unsure of which direction to go. I don't know why I'm struggling to make a choice. It seems so important that it be just right!

Perhaps it is because I know this will be the first place that Maya can truly call her own. A crib all to herself with a matress instead of a bamboo pad. Toys that don't have to be shared among twenty or more children. Quiet, peaceful and serene when she chooses. Simply......Maya's Room! Another six months until she is home. Sigh. By then I expect room gazing to become an olympic sport....at least in our household!

In the meantime I'll wander in and out with the images of bedtime stories and nighttime giggles. I wrote the following poem expressing some room gazing thoughts of me "the expectant mother."

The Expectant Mother

I sit in your room staring at the clutter that soon will be organized for your arrival. I wonder if you will like the color on the wall or the special stuffed animal that I have chosen for you.

Will you find peace in this room when it is time to lay your head down? Or will you cry out in disapproval?

I close my eyes and my mind drifts away where I envision the canvas of your face. You have a twinkle in your eye that will certainly melt my heart. And a smile that fills the room with sunshine on the cloudiest of days.

As I rock back and forth I imagine the feel of your wispy hair as it tickles my chin. Our heartbeats intertwined in a mother child symphony. Just the thought of it makes my heart beat a little faster.

My hand glides over my flat vacant belly. There is no longer a need to fill my empty womb. It is my heart that is full and ready to deliver my love to you.

As I continue rocking, the images bring a smile to my face. But for now I can only patiently wait.



Lori Haug

Parenting 101

I've never understood why Parenting101 is not a general class required in college. I mean how many of us will actually use calculus equations in real life? Important tips on proper diapering techniques however could prevent a massive poop catastrophe! I ask you....."which is more important information?"

Recently the diaper conversation came up at our house. First the discussion was disposable or cloth? Ok please don't send us hate mail but we're going with disposable. After that exhaustive decision which took about 2 mintutes, John decided he could not handle more discussion about diapers. I however pushed the issue and had to get a disposable diaper sample which I had purchased earlier to show him. I wanted to educate my man on the many features of the disposable diaper. He reluctantly took it out of my hands and quickly sniffed it. THAT IS SUCH A MAN THING!!!!!! All quality control by men is done simply by the sniff test. Lets hope he doesn't forget and do this with a poop filled diaper. On second thought that could provide some good humor. Anyway, based on the sniff test John said, "this brand diaper is fine."

The next day our friend Jennifer came over to drop of some wonderful clothes for Maya. While she was here I thought I should perhaps pick her brain about which disposable diaper is the best. As John would say I "have to beat that dead horse one more time." Doesn't he know by now that no discussion is ever final! Things must be discussed over and over just to make sure every angle has been covered. Anway, Jennifer provided her expert advice (Luvs) and even offered a demonstration. I quickly grabbed Maya's first stuffed animal given by my neice. It is a toddler sized stuffed rabbit. Jennifer provided invaluable information on diapering such as making sure the diaper is high on the back to prevent back explosions as well as making sure the tabs meet in the middle, or as close as you can get them. John's mind started to wander during this all important topic but Jennifer firmly said "John, this is important!" John reengaged and completed topic one of Parenting101......Thank you Jennifer.

I also have to give John kudos for his own self taught studies. On our anniversary he bought a baby carrier. Last week I came home and noticed the carrier laying on our guest bed with bunny inside. I giggled to myself and asked him about it. He said he wanted to try the carrier out. Well aside from the bunny weighing absolutely nothing, the giant ears, and it's lack of movement.......it's exactly like a baby! I wish I could have seen him walking around the house with stuffed bunny strapped to his chest. What a turn on!!!!!!!!! Let face it all women love it when men show their sensitive side. Maybe I could persuade him to pose for a picture. My only suggestion is maybe next time he might want to use our dog Skeeter instead. At least he would provide some weight and squirming which would be a little more realistic to holding a baby. Anyway....hats off to my dear hubby.

Tomorrow perhaps we'll move on to selecting the perfect bottle nipple. Can't wait to see where that one takes us!

Lori

When did organization become difficult?

There is something I've noticed among many of my friends with children. Lack of organization and chaos. Don't get me wrong. I know freaks of nature do exist. You know the type. The moms who run their children to events in fifty different directions....all at the same time. They do laundry, cook, keep a meticulous house and present you with fresh baked cookies when you stop by unexpectedly! On my road to motherhood I'm quickly discovering that won't be me!!!!!!!!

I used to keep a pretty meticulous house. Of course my husband John would be the first to let my secret out of the bag. I'm a closet slob. If it's lost he'll tell me to look in my closet...... or my car....or my purse. Those are closets too only on a bigger and smaller scale. Anyway, I always took pride in being organized with my home, finances etc....That was until lately.

I'm not quite sure when organized Lori was replaced with unorganized and disheveled Lori. But let me say that the new Lori is taking a little bit of getting used to. It started innocently enough at the beginning of the year. Small piles of mail laying here and there, an occasional unmade bed, or unfolded laundry. My friends would come into my home and through the shock evident by their facial expressions they would ask me "Are you feeling ok?" Yes this was a sight unfamiliar to many of them. Now it has become the norm.

Things got considerably worse throughout summer. The first sign that something was going amiss was the big delay in planting my garden. Now many of you might think this is no big deal. But I'm the person who is normally out in my pajamas every morning checking to see if something sprouted overnight. There is something so rewarding to eat vegetables that have been nurtured from little seeds. I live for planting my garden. I basically did not plant anything until July. Even my friend Dawn said "Wow you weren't kidding, you are behind." And the funny thing is that I don't know how it happened. When did July suddenly sneak up on me? What happened to May and June?

Another curious thing is that I suddenly can't get anywhere on time. It doesn't matter how early I get started but I still end up late. I was always the on-time girl. In fact usually early. Now I find I have to set my alarm clock ahead as if it will trick my brain into forcing me out of bed a little earlier. NOPE.... I just tell myself I've got 5 more minutes.

I've heard that this happens to moms. Could it be that I'm subconsciously preparing for motherhood? Is my brain trying to alleviate the expectant shock to my normally organized world? I've read in my adoption books that many adoptive parents experience similar changes to those families waiting the birth of biological children. Come to think of it I have had cravings and weight gain.......of course my cravings for Fritos and chocolate are more likely the cause of my weight gain:)

Can I use the adoption as my excuse? Today I did! While running an errand on my lunch hour I was pulled over by a Fort Collins patrolman. I anticipated the red flashing lights of the officer behind me long before he actually turned them on. You see.....I'm an outlaw driving with expired registration tags! Yep thats right........I forgot to send in my payment until last week for tags that expired in August. I must have looked at that payment card a thousand times telling myself "Don't forget to pay that." Anyway, thank goodness I had my carbon copy receipt of my check that I had written the week before to the county clerk. Whoooo off the hook for that one!

Then the officer asked for my license and proof of insurance which I promptly handed over. Then he informed me that my proof of insurance card was not a valid date. HMMMMM I know I put the new one in my car somewhere! As I nervously shuffled through papers in my closet disquised as my car and purse, he proceded to call in my license. Of course being the law abiding citizen that I normally am...he realized this was a complete fluke. I did eventually find my new proof of insurance card much to my relief. As we were saying our goodbyes I was suddenly compelled to apologize. And before I knew it I blurted out "I'm sorry I'm so unorganized, I'm adopting!" I wish I could post a picture of his face... I think at that moment he thought he had heard every excuse in the book....until now!

When I got home I told John what had happened. The biggest smirk spread across his face. You see......I constantly give John a hard time about his procrastination, tardiness and lack of organization. He was savoring my little bump in the road. Come to think of it, he is so much more prepared for parenthood then me! He is comfortable in his unorganized skin. For me, this unorganized thing could take some getting used to. I'm sure I'll get plenty of practice.

Lori