Emotional Journey

Lori and Maya in front of Maya's orphanage




Maya's crib




Long day




Mother and daughter trying to catch some ZZZZ's on the bus




Traditional Hunan dining with the group




Happy girl

You can see more pics of the trip by clicking on the link under "More Photos and Video" in the right hand navigation bar. We'll try to add some more pics and maybe a video or two every day or so.


Yesterday we headed to the city where Maya has spent her last 3 months. She spent the previous 7 months in an orphanage in Dao County after being found abandoned in front of a civil affairs building. Unfortunately we were told that we would not be able to visit Dao County because the bus could not manage the treacherous mountain roads to get there. We are sad that we can't see the place where she spent so much of her life or meet the people who cared for her but we were anxious to see the orphanage where Maya has recently been.

There were eleven families on this particular route which included 3 separate orphanages. The drive out to the more rural parts of China was a welcome relief to the hectic city life we have been exposed to here in Changsha. The countryside is beautiful with rice patties growing everywhere. Hunan province provides a major source of the rice in China which was evident by the amount of rice farms we saw along the way. Once again we were rock stars and people came out in droves to see the foreigners. It makes you feel a bit like an alien the way the people all come out and stare at you. I got repremanded for putting Maya in a carrier against my chest. The little old ladies kept telling me she was too hot.....like the 100 degrees was not causing her to sweat. Overall though the people are extremely happy to see us and very welcoming.

The first orphanage we stopped at was tucked back off the road and required you to go across a little bridge covered pond to get to the building itself. This explained the bug bites on a lot of the kids. We were politely shown some of the rooms however the building itself was several stories high so we speculated that we got shown the good parts.......The building was very old and dirty and the cribs were all lined with bamboo mats. The cribs did seem like they were in good condition though. There were some toys but they all seemed out of reach of the children themselves. It is absolutely heart breaking to see all the kids waiting for homes. And even more heartbreaking to see the conditions that they have to live in. I just wanted to scoop as many children as I could in my arms and just start running away from there. We know that the nannies do their best with what they are given. And it was obvious that they cared for the children.

There was some confusion at first because we thought this was where Maya had been living and of course it was very upsetting to think about her being there. Then we found out that she actually was at another orphanage. I felt a bit relieved although sad for the children left behind. When we arrived at Maya's orphanage it occurred to me that she had been living someplace worse. Immediately I was stuck by the desolate look of the place. There were apartment buildings all around but it felt like you were walking through a bombed out area in order to get to the orphanage itself which is set up like a motel where all the rooms are accessed from outside. When we walked in the nannies immediately started circling another baby in our group. They scooped her up and carried her everywhere showing all the other nannies. This baby had been left on their doorstep and had been at this orphanage ever since. It was obvious that she was very loved.

I braced myself as I waited for the rush of women to start surrounding Maya too but it never happened. None of the women seemed to care that little Xiao Jiao was there with her new mommy and daddy. This gave me a very uneasy feeling. I asked where she slept and was shown her crib. Although it didn't look old it had railings that were only about 6 inches high and a little red strap in the corner where it was obvious that they had strapped her wrist or leg down at bed time. We know they do it for the childrens safety but the reality of it is very hard to see. John and I stood there looking down at that little crib thinking about our little Maya laying there. It was a lot to take in and I was unable to control my tears although I tried to put on a happy face and act as if they were happy tears. As we stood there the nannies were showing the other baby's parents her crib which was full sized. She was directly across from Maya but neither of them seem to show any recognition in each other. Maya's room had 8 cribs in it and was about 10x15, cement floors, and no toys. The nanny said that the babies spent most of the day here. We took pictures with the nanny and orphanage director then headed to the play room.

The playroom was about the same size and consisted of 6 to 8 baby walkers. The floor was dirty cement and there was not one toy in the room. The only cheerful thing was a cutout of a Christmas stalking on the wall and a little stuffed animal pinned up on the wall. There were several children in the walkers just sitting listless. The heat was intense in all the rooms which I'm sure contributed to their lack of enthusiasm. There were no fans or anything to create any kind of air movement. Most of the children were not long enough or strong enough to push themselves around. Even if they could they would just bump into eachother because the room was so small. I tried to interact with a child and the baby just cried from my strange looking face. It was completely overwhelming seeing this first hand. Our group had brought toys to the orphanage although we did not get to distribute them. I know there was a group ahead of us that probably also brought toys so it made me wonder why I didn't see any there. Perhaps they feel it is insulting to accept such gifts or maybe they don't realize the importance of stimulation for the babies. Oddly enough the playroom was equipped with a really nice large TV that was blaring a Chinese soap opera. It seemed so out of place in this old run down building.

When we boarded our bus I just sobbed uncontrollably for about an hour. I kept kissing Maya thankful that she was in my arms and not there. It dawned on me why her blistering diaper rash was so bad, why she can feed herself and how she will continually shovel food in if you let her. The other baby that was so adored and cannot feed herself most likely because she always had a nanny to do it for her. I came to realize that our tiny, sweet little Maya is a survivor. I am so thankful that she is strong willed and still so willing to give us a smile. Perhaps she was loved by a nanny that wasn't there that day or adored by her caretakers at her first orphanage. Whatever the circumstance she seems overall healthy and happy. When we got to our room Maya was as happy as could be smiling at us with her cute little dimples. Hard to stay sad for long when she gives us those big grins and belly laughs.

We enjoyed a group dinner and were served the specialty of her city which is snake. I didn't venture there but John said it wasn't that great. We also get the beaks and feet in all of our chicken dishes which always makes for interesting table conversation.

Today we continued our orphanage visit at the final orphanage in Shuang Pai which was in the beautiful mountain region. The orphanage here was a complete contrast to the other two. Nice tiled floors, very clean, toys everywhere including on each little walker cart. Each nanny was assigned 2-4 children and she had her own bed in the same room as her assigned babies. The babies were very much loved here and it was obvious by the way the Nannies were crying when they saw the babies from there. It was like the Hilton compared to the previous visits.

The day was extremely long. We were on a bus for about 10 hours. Considering this Maya did pretty good as long as we supplied her with food. When she is upset she likes to be walked which was impossible on a bus traveling on rugged China roads. She had lots of screaming fits and she wiggles like crazy which makes her hard to hold on to. You would never guess she is only 13lbs when she is crying like that. She is extremely strong in her fits of rage. But who can blame her when she has been confined for so many months. She has tasted freedom and she doesn't like being confined anymore. When we got back to the room I laid her on the bed and she starting rolling around and giggling. She suddenly transformed back to our happy little girl which continually amazes us.

As difficult as it was we are glad that we went to see where Maya had been cared for. We decided that we would privately share the majority of photos of Maya's orphanage with our friends and family once we are back home. We feel that this is a part of Maya's life that should remain somewhat private. Before the visit we felt slightly guilty for taking Maya away from her homeland. But now we have a new perspective and we are glad that we can provide her a life of limitless opportunity and love. We hope that someday she feels the same.